Offical Review: Being Gay in Sports

The views expressed in this blog entry are the opinion and do not necessarily reflect or endorse the views of Foco Girls Gone Derby, the Women's Flat Track Derby Association or any other sports entity.

If you've If you've picked up a copy of the sports section lately, you might have accidentally confused it for the lifestyles or opinions section based on the large number of articles about "gays in sports."  Just a few articles I have read in the last week include: Being Gay at the Sochi Olympics, Michael Sam Comes Out As Gay: Missouri Football Star Could be 1st Openly Gay Player, America is Ready For Openly Gay Athletes, Poll Shows and my personal favorite: How to Behave Around Your Gay Teammate in the Locker Room.

Before I delve into this topic (see disclaimer above), I should be transparent about why I am writing this piece. I am a gay man who officiates in the sport of women's roller derby.  Does my role as an official make me an expert on LGBTQIA individuals involved in sports? Certainly not.  But as a gay man who is also a sports aficionado it feels completely appropriate to write about the recent buzz in both the LBGTQIA and sports communities.

As a young kid, I grew up with team sports.  I can remember at an early age being involved with the American Youth Soccer Organization (AYSO).  My mom would cart my brother and me, once a week to practice and to games on the weekends.  This was my first real exposure to team sports and although I can't tell you our win/loss record for each season I participated in with AYSO, I do acknowledge that the experience allowed me to feel like a member of a team and also afforded me the opportunity to eat a lot of delicious orange slices after each game!

My second foray into organized sports was recreational volleyball, which, at the time, was largely considered "feminine" and I was one of the two boys on the team.   While I loved being on the team and played for three seasons, it was the first time I wondered if my teammates, coach, or spectators speculated about my sexuality.  You see, I knew I was gay very early in life and although I didn't come out until I was fourteen, this was my first intersection with sports and my sexuality.  It was the first time I wondered if being gay meant I couldn't play sports or be on a team.

It wasn't until I went to high school, where all students were mandated to play team sports in lieu of physical education classes, when I actually panicked about being gay and on a sports team.  By that time in my life, I had come out to myself and my family, but wasn't out to my friends or classmates.  Having attended a boarding school where you live, eat, and sleep with your classmates, it's not an easy secret to keep and my "sparkling" personality didn't really help either.

My first season of high school sports, I was invited to play on the varsity soccer team.  Apparently my youth soccer experiences paid off in the skill department.  Our first several games of the season were home games, which meant I didn't have to travel to other schools, but more importantly, it meant I could go back to my dorm room after the game and shower in the privacy of my own room.  However, it was my first away game that I dreaded, for fear of having to shower with my other teammates before we boarded the bus back home.

Let me shed a little light here for a second; when I was in high school, I was more terrified of showering with my straight teammates than they likely ever were of showering with the presumed gay guy on the team (see sparkling personality reference above).  I had a lot of the same body image issues that lots of young people face when you're going through puberty.  The only times that I ever looked at someone in the locker room was more for comparisons' sake of  "Oh wow, my body doesn't look like that, " or "Am I supposed to have hair there?!?"  My cursory glances, and those glances of my teammates alike, at other's bodies were more about the growing body image issue that we have in America, which is a different topic for a different day.  I survived through two years of high school varsity sports (soccer, swimming and tennis) with my head down and always being the first in and out of the rampant heterosexual environment known as "the locker room."  I provide this backdrop as context of what it was like in the early 90's to be a young gay athlete.

When I joined Foco Girls Gone Derby in 2012, I was never required, nor did I feel compelled to disclose my sexual orientation.  I joined with the hope of becoming part of a team again and to engage in a sport that I felt passionate about.  What I appreciate most about the sport of derby is that it has a relatively open door policy and that you have the right to be who you are without judgement or retaliation.  While I cannot speak for all leagues involved in either WFTDA or its male counterpart, Men's Roller Derby Association (MRDA), thus far I have always been treated with respect and welcomed with open arms by players, coaches and fellow officials.

It is encouraging that the revelation of gay athletes is as celebrated as it is, but also disconcerting that in 2014 an athlete's coming out story is still national news.  While I'm excited that Michael Sam is now "out" and has prospects to be the first openly gay NFL player, and the international response to Russia's anti-gay propaganda laws, especially in light of the International Olympic Committees objections, at the end of the day, fans and athletes alike still care about one thing: sports.

For my fellow athletes: treat your LGBTQIA teammates the way you would treat any of your straight teammates.  Joke with them, interact with them both on and off the track, court, field, etc., help fight the heterocentric nature of the locker room, and while you're at it, challenge body image issues raised in the locker room, and most of all, don't make judgments of an athlete's ability simply because of their sexual orientation.

For fans who love sports, neither I, nor most athletes, need a standing ovation for being gay athletes.  Simply acknowledge gay team members as an athlete who's out there doing what they love while providing you entertainment and enjoyment.  Support athletes when they make great plays and prevent yourself from using hateful words like gay, queer, or fag for players who make bad plays or are on teams you cheer against.

Michael Sam's coming out may open the door to a new audience for the NFL, but it likely won't have any huge ramifications on existing fan bases.  I, like many others, will not cheer any less for the Denver Broncos, despite their blundering performance in Super Bowl XLVIII, in place of a team that drafts the first openly gay player.  I also don't expect a mass defection of fans from a team that chooses to draft Sam.  There have always been and will always be LGBTQIA athletes but it is first and foremost the responsibility as athletes, officials, and fans alike to display the highest levels of dignity, respect and sportsmanship to all, both on and off the field.

Whistle Blower

Handing Over the Reigns

I've been in management positions for most of my adult life; I've managed multiple restaurants and even have a degree in management.  After a few months of playing roller derby, I knew that I wouldn't be content not having some say in the organization of the league.  So, as a doe-eyed newbie I ran for captainship of one of the home teams, The Deathrow Dolls.  I captained the Dolls for almost a whole season before I decided to run for the Co-Captin of the competitive travel team, The MicroBruisers.  I captained the Bruisers for almost two seasons before finally deciding to step down at the end of last season and oh boy!  Has it been a ride!

When I thought that managing a team of roller derby ladies would be no different than my previous management experience, I couldn't have been more wrong.  This is no restaurant, we don't get paid and managing those ladies will be a challenge I will never forget.  Being a competitive team captain means a lot of things; choosing rosters (possibly leaving out skaters you consider good friends), writing lines, leading practices, championing the team in athletics committee meetings, keeping morale high and even disciplining unsavory actions (dun, dun, dunnnnnnn).  My co-captain, Slim Skatey (and later Miz. Eerie Bizness) and I have a special obstacle to overcome as well- it was just us.  No coaches, nothing.  The coaching staff was just two ladies that had to figure out how to be "The Boss" while still skating as a teammate.

I know I'm probably making captaining seem like the WORST.  IDEA.  EVER.  But, alongside the issues and stress, I had a lot of great times that far outweigh the hard parts.  I got to wear my captain "C" ) "A" in the beginning) with pride, because I knew that this was a team that I helped create.  I got the pleasure of being told, "Great practice, Sug!" after practices I have developed and put together (a very daunting task, btw).  I got to introduce new strategies and watch them succeed (or fail, but let's not talk about that).  When morale was high, I could turn up my chin and know that I had had a part in it.  I got to take my team to two tournaments!  And, finally, when we won...WE WON!

Now that I'm no longer a captain of any team, I find myself trying not to become the dreaded "backseat captain."  But, it's hard not to have a say in the team that, for two years, I worked so hard to build up.  Luckily, I couldn't have asked for a better coaching staff to hand the reigns over to; Coach Paul, Assistant Coach Hayl, and our two wonderful captain The Original Skankster and Princess of Wails are AMAZEBALLS and I am so excited to see what they will do with this team.  Their motto for this season is "Athleticism, Discipline, and Teamwork," wowza!

So, to my successors: Have fun wrangling us through the bountiful derby merch at Wild West to get to our bouts (FYI, it will be like herding cats in a room full of catnip).  Don't wallow in your defeats.  Enjoy your victories.  And, finally, soak in as much as possible, because one day you'll be like good ol' Suga Smaxx having to pass off the torch. 

Now, let me get back to my stress-free derby life...NOT!

Much love, 

Suga Smaxxx

Roller Derby is (also) for Introverts!

I love people. I love watching them. I love listening to them (when they know I am listening and when they don't). I don't really love interacting with them though. As much I love being a part of social situations, I don't really want to be social in them. I am like a cat in that way. I want to be in the same room as something social, but it's sometimes really hard for me to be social, even with my close friends. I kinda just want to be in the same room and not have to talk. Sometimes. Not all the time. Sometimes, when I get enough booze and fried food in me, and I won't shut up.

Roller derby is perfect for me because we have a thing that we're doing. I don't have to ask people gently probing questions about their lives, their personal history, their families, their health, their happiness because we're doing something. We're derby-ing. I can tell them "Jammer standing!" and "watch the inside!" without hesitation but when you ask me about my day, I am flummoxed. I like to go to a place where I get to be with my friends, but I don't have to talk about my feelings in front of everyone. I make left turns, I skate it out, and I feel like I have done something. I saw some people today and it mattered that their faces were in front of mine. Roller derby is a fun, safe, place full of people I like and trust, who don't need to make me be things I am not. They only ask that I push myself harder, whatever that looks like for me.

I think introverts make awesome teammates because we are:

• Very self-aware
• Thoughtful
• Enjoys understanding details
• Interested in self-knowledge and self-understanding
• Tends to keep emotions private
• Quiet and reserved in large groups or around unfamiliar people
• More sociable and gregarious around people they know well
• Learns well through observation*

Don't get me wrong, I love my extroverted friends, colleagues, and teammates, but an introvert will wait and watch before they give feedback. We're thinking about what we're going to say before we say it. We do this on the track, in committee and board meetings, and in our relationships. We try and really understand a situation. 

I think the hardest thing for me is all the social opportunities surrounding derby. The after parties, the pre-game talks, the time when you're gearing up and down. Those things are like the first day of school for me STILL and I have been with my league for more than 2 years! There are new people, there are cliques, there are the "popular girls" and despite my best efforts, I know that I am not every one's cup of tea. And that's OK, it's just stressful sometimes. I get in my car and panic a little about who I am going to do endurance practice next to. Are they going to judge my squat-jumps and burpees? When I gear up, can they smell my wristgaurd stank like I can? OH GOD. Hopefully I am with someone in my inner circle, then I give no f**ks about those things.

Moral of the story, everyone has their hurdles, but being an introvert shouldn't stop you from PLAYING ALL THE DERBIES! because there are a lot of benefits of being an introverted type of person, on and off the track!

Derby Love,

Mollytov Maguire
 
*What is Introversion? By Kendra Cherry

What's Your Roller Derby Spirit Animal?

Ever wonder what kind of skater you are?  Do you ever feel inadequate with the skill-set you have? Wishing that you could just skate like that one girl on the team you envy? Wait, really?  WHY?! Roller derby is about a place for everyone; every body type and every skill-set. Every skater is unique and guess what? We need all of them. You might go around thinking that you're not as valuable as the other players on your team, and you would be very, very, wrong. One day you'll go up against this bad ass team of chicks and there will be one girl that no one can stop but you. You'll just get the way she skates when no one else does. So buck up little camper!  Roller derby is not a sport about feeling sorry for yourself, it's about taking control. Now I'm sure I didn't capture all the roller derby spirit animals but I assume they're a lot like Pokemon and you can just add more when you come across one.  Read on!

The Honey Badger

Cuz you don't give a shiiiiz.  Honey badger don't care.  She don't care one bit.  The honey badger is the lady who hits hard, hits fast, and manages the pack with her feisty skating.  She tornadoes around, faster and with more direction than you thought a skater could, and is the skater that makes every jammer sweat when she's on the other team.  Is she always with her wall?  Not necessarily. This one likes to go rogue and fly solo while she plays offense for her jammer and picks off the opposing players one at a time, leaving more than a few bruises in her wake.  She's mean, she's scary, and every hit feels more and more like defeat.


The Bull

This skater is the most fearless skater on the track because she knows the WFTDA rules like the back of her hand, or should I say, hoof?  So when something doesn't sit right with her she digs her heels in, takes a deep breath, and charges ahead at full speed.  Calling time-outs to challenge a call is her specialty and instead of playing reckless, she plays smart. Opposing players fear her, because they know when she challenges she has a good reason.  Her teammates go to her for advice, council, and questions, wanting to know as much about derby as she does.  If you're a bull, stay that way.  If you're not, pick up a rule book and get studying!

The Wolf

Do you ever find yourself herding all of the other skaters so that they're where they need to be?  You're always nipping at their heels by yelling, pointing, and physically moving them with your body?  You're the wolf; mother of the pack.  You know that keeping your pack together will mean life or death for the jam and you're not taking any chances.  Newer skaters look to you to tell them what to do, where to go, and how to improve.  Off the track, you're more of a mother, giving advice to inexperienced skaters and explaining that last jam to anyone with a 'deer in the headlights' look.  On the track, you're a wolf, keeping everybody in line and forcing them to improve their game.

The Emperor Penguin

A very interesting fact about the Emperor Penguin is that mates for life. It finds its "soul mate," looks all over the beach for the perfect pebble, and then presents it to its true love and they are together forever.  Awww... If you are an Emperor Penguin on the track, it simply means that you skate better with a partner in crime. You tend to use the people around to you to land your hits, booty block, and force the track cut on that pesky little jammer when your partner drags her. This girls is your derby soul mate and you know each other like the back of your skate.  There are also penguin skaters that work well with any partner, but the principle is the same, they know that 2 pairs of skates are better than 1.

The Springbok

This little skater is a jumpy, hoppy, all over the place jammer.  You get low as you approach the pack and then spring into action, flying past everyone in front of you.  If you manage to get caught, it won't be for long. You're great a juking, stepping, toe-stop work, and you leave people behind in a flash!  You know one of the most important lessons in derby, levels matter.  You've also taken a few lessons from Patches O'Hoola Han and have learned how to dodge, duck, dip, dive, and dodge!


The Ram

You're a great jammer, but you're not a springbok.  Instead of hopping around and trying to dodge your opponents, you power through with incredible force.  Because you're solid on your skates and know people can't hit you out easily, you bide your time and just muscle your way through.  Hearing a "No Pack!" is your favorite sound, because you've managed to power push the wall to the brink.  As much as the pack tries to slow down with you forcing them forward, they simply can't.  No amount of snow plows or hockey stops can stop you from getting through, and the team depends on you to go up against those tough blockers that dominate the track.

Didn't find your spirit animal?  Not to worry, there are dozens of them, all equally important for a team to be successful.  Whatever your spirit animal is, just own it.  You don't have to skate like your derby crush, or Suzy Hotrod, Bonnie Thunders, or Jackie Daniels.  We all now that it's not about what you got, but what you make of what you got.  No one's born a great derby player, so stop comparing yourself to others, and just become the absolute best of what you are!

Cheers,

The Original Skankster

Battle-ing Jamming

If you've ever read a roller derby blog then, inevitably, you've read about the dreaded jammer panty. Also known as the plague panty. If you're unfamiliar, the jammer panty is the helmet cover that the jammer (point-scorer) wears on the track.  Think of it as a giant target plastered to your head.

The reason behind its dread? Jamming can suck. A whole lot. Even people who are really good at jamming have the fear of the jammer panty. It means up to two full minutes of being caught in the other team's sights and having the snot hip-checked out of you. It means endurance, speed, and agility. Things that don't always come naturally to - ahem - some of us.

I'm just starting my 8th (what? really? holy crap!) season of playing roller derby. I only started volunteering to jam LAST season. No one dreaded the panty more than me. When someone would ask, "Who wants to jam?" I would quickly put the pivot panty on, or sprint to the track to avoid it. I wasn't small, agile, or fast like a jammer should be. In fact, I didn't want to be.

I played derby for many seasons, content to be a blocker. I'm a bigger girl, was even bigger when I started. I could take a hit, and I could lay people flat if I was able to get the timing right. I didn't cross train, I wasn't athletic. I couldn't run, I fought constantly with my asthma. What I got out of derby was enough for me back then- a little bit of effort and the fun of skating.

Something changed a few seasons back. I decided I wanted to be healthier, and derby is a great way to achieve that. I put more into my practices, started hitting the gym. I lost some weight, and in the 2011 season, I finally earned my first MVP award in a bout. That still wasn't enough suddenly. I KNEW that I could do more- that the only thing limiting me was, in fact, me. I started the Couch to 5K program in the beginning of the 2012 season. I kept going to the gym. I kept getting in better shape. I made the active roster for the travel team. It was one of my proudest moments.

I was still afraid to jam.

My asthma was part of it; it still is. Running has helped me get a better handle of endurance, but there are times I still need my inhaler, and jamming definitely stresses the body. But I was getting sleeker, faster, and more agile. And so, halfway thought last season, I decided I would MAKE myself jam. Every scrimmage. At least once per half. It wasn't easy, but it got easier. I got lead jammer! Hey, this time I actually scored points! It wasn't scary anymore. I decided to jam in a home bout and I got lead AND scored points! Sure, next time I jammed I got shut down and the opposing team mopped the floor with me. But you know what? I went out again.

I even gave it a shot in a competitive travel bout. That...still needs some work, but it's good to have goals, right?

Derby practices used to have an underlying note of anxiety for me. When was I going to have to jam in a drill? Would they make me jam in scrimmage, even? I don't feel that anymore. I can even say I'm EXCITED to jam. I volunteer to do it, I like the feeling of getting through that pack, scoring those points, and being able to call it off.

Hey, it only took 8 seasons, right?

Mollytov 2.0

My Derby Resolutions:

1. Eat like a champ. But seriously, like a champ because I AM a champ. Or will be this season. I don't want to say that I eat like crap, but I also don't eat all the things I should. I don't drink enough water either and I will do this too. I am doing this right now in fact. I need to have more leafy greens, more vibrant reds, and less Yellow #5. This one is going to be HARD.

2. Jam. I am really gonna do that this year. I am not going to say "No" to the panty if I can breathe and stand.  In scrimmage. I can't say that I will commit to bouts. That sounds traumatic. I can say that this is MY YEAR to be awesome at derby. I know that more jamming will make me a better blocker and I will see the game that much better. I think it will (in the long run) make derby more fun for me. The dread that I feel about being asked to jam and knowing that I am going to  turn it down will be a thing of the past! Instead, a fresh new kind of hell will take it's place. That hell is jamming. Some things are worth the struggle. Hopefully, it won't always be my own personal derby hell.

3. Go to the gym. I will commit to going to the gym. I am going to include more yoga in this because when you do high impact all the time, it's hard. I need me some quiet, stretchy-breathing time. Time that I don't think about lists and committee work, and doing the dishes because that is a problem for me. But really, if I am going to be honest with myself, I need to work on having faster feet, not breathing. OK, both at the same time and I am going to do that on a treadmill and with some free weights. Peer pressure might also work, keep me honest people.

4. I will strive for better work vs. life vs. derby balance. I need to leave certain things on the track and keep my drama to myself. No excuses. No punishments. Just better compartmentalization. I will also not obsessive watch my blog stats, Facebook stats, website stats, or any others that aren't relevant at that time. No screens allowed on date night. That is going to be a hard habit to break, but a very worthy one.

5. My final resolution is to be as nice to myself as I am my friends. If they screw something up, I don't punish them. I talk them down from the ledge. I give them room to learn from their mistakes and I don't sit in the bottom of the shower crying about them at one in the morning. This is something I am going to give myself this year.

Welcome to 2014 everyone.

Derby love,

Mollytov Maguire

Last Year's Bucket List and MORE...

Alright ladies, exactly one year ago I wrote a New Year's Resolution blog post about what my plans were for the year to make my roller derby experience as awesome as possible.  Now I'm here a year later, shame-stick in hand, looking back to see whether I accomplished the goals I set for myself.  Did I make it? Did I become the most wonderful, productive derby girl of all time?  Read on and find out!

1.Learn the Rules.
Hmmmm. Rules rules rules.  My most favorite thing about roller derby...NOT.  I know, I know, the WFTDA rule book is not as exciting to read as Fifty Shades of Grey, but it's well worth the effort. It's also a bit tricky, because a new rule-set comes out every year, but I have to say that I dusted off the ol' rule book this year and hit the books hard. I gotta tell you, I learned a lot!  In fact, it saved me a few trips to the penalty box, so if you're looking to reduce your time off the track, the rule book is the place to start.

2.Make it to RollerCon.
Mission accomplished!  In fact, I was the only girl from our league there.  It made me a little sad, because I didn't know a whole lot of people, but I have no regrets about going.  RollerCon is definitely the place to go if you need a new spring in your step- er- I mean skate.  With a ton of classes taught by the best roller derby players in the world, they're tailor-made for each skill you're trying to pull off next.  With scrimmages, merch, bouts, and parties, RollerCon is the Mecca for any roller girl.  While I was there, the Ark Valley Rollergirls, a league not far from my town took me under their wing and pretty much adopted me for the week.  It was so amazing to hang out with these ladies; they were kind, fun, and I had a blast with them.  With all of the relationships I cultivated, things I learned, and experiences I had, I'll definitely be making the trip again this year!

3.Win One MVP Trophy at a WFTDA sanctioned bout.
Promises, promises.  Unfortunately I only managed to accomplish this one 50% of the way through.  I won an MVP trophy for a home bout (which I kicked BUTT in BTW) but my goal was to win one during a travel team bout.  I wanted the ladies of the other team, who had never seen us in action, to see me as a valuable asset to my team. Call this a selfish goal if you will, I understand, but can you blame me for wanting to ROCK THE BOUT??!  So this goal will be rolling over to this year, and somehow, someway, I will accomplish it!  That being said, doing what's best for the team is more important than making yourself look good, so be a team player and rock the bout!

4.Jump the Apex.
I totally jumped the apex, once. ONCE.  But I did it! So it's practice, practice, practice until I do it again. And again. One day it will be rainbows and cupcakes over that apex jump, so I'll just keep on truckin' until it happens.

5.Be Awesome.
Hmmm...can I truly answer this one objectively? Last year I vowed to stop complaining, work out, eat right, and leave it all on the track.  Did I do that? Did I accomplish my goal of being awesome?  Heck yes I did!  I focused a lot on my nutrition this year and making sure I worked out a few days every single week other than derby.  I also stopped playing it safe and tried hard to push myself during practice.  This is probably the most important thing you can do to better yourself. Set goals, set timelines, and then push push push!

So in the spirit of the new year, follow my lead (which is excellent) and set your own Roller Derby New Year's Resolutions!

Cheers to a great new year,

The Original Skankster