Ever wonder what kind of skater you are? Do you ever feel inadequate with the skill-set you have? Wishing that you could just skate like that one girl on the team you envy? Wait, really? WHY?! Roller derby is about a place for everyone; every body type and every skill-set. Every skater is unique and guess what? We need all of them. You might go around thinking that you're not as valuable as the other players on your team, and you would be very, very, wrong. One day you'll go up against this bad ass team of chicks and there will be one girl that no one can stop but you. You'll just get the way she skates when no one else does. So buck up little camper! Roller derby is not a sport about feeling sorry for yourself, it's about taking control. Now I'm sure I didn't capture all the roller derby spirit animals but I assume they're a lot like Pokemon and you can just add more when you come across one. Read on!
Cuz you don't give a shiiiiz. Honey badger don't care. She don't care one bit. The honey badger is the lady who hits hard, hits fast, and manages the pack with her feisty skating. She tornadoes around, faster and with more direction than you thought a skater could, and is the skater that makes every jammer sweat when she's on the other team. Is she always with her wall? Not necessarily. This one likes to go rogue and fly solo while she plays offense for her jammer and picks off the opposing players one at a time, leaving more than a few bruises in her wake. She's mean, she's scary, and every hit feels more and more like defeat.
The Emperor Penguin
Didn't find your spirit animal? Not to worry, there are dozens of them, all equally important for a team to be successful. Whatever your spirit animal is, just own it. You don't have to skate like your derby crush, or Suzy Hotrod, Bonnie Thunders, or Jackie Daniels. We all now that it's not about what you got, but what you make of what you got. No one's born a great derby player, so stop comparing yourself to others, and just become the absolute best of what you are!
The Original Skankster