October 25, 2012

FoCo Girls Gone Undead

Saturday night, October 21, 2012 will go down in history as being one of the BEST.NIGHTS.EVER. It was one of  those magical nights were you laugh easily and naturally with everyone you see. Where the waitstaff can do no wrong (I actually said "I zombie promise you" to a server at Coopersmith's. Why this was accepted, I have no idea). Where the right music is being played on the jukebox and you always know all the words.

What precipitated this auspicious evening you ask? One of my favorite annual events on the Front Range, Old Town Zombie Fest. It raises money and awareness for Turning Point, an organization that is "dedicated to improving the lives of youth and their families" through a variety of programs and services. Each year, people put on their finest zombie attire and splatter fake blood artistically over anything that will stand still in order to stumble, drag, and pull their way all over Old Town Fort Collins for drink specials and goodies. This year was extra special for me because FoCo Girls Gone Derby was invited to lead the zombie parade. Yes. You read that right. LEAD THE ZOMBIE PARADE!

(from left to right)
Mollytov Maguire, Inner Demon,
KermudJen, Battle E. Portman
FoCo's skaters and refs came downtown on skates ready to rock some Thriller. Suzy Muffincrusher choreographed something beautiful for us, slightly modified because not all the moves translate well to roller skates. I learned that I want to be behind Battle E. Portman for choreographed dance numbers forthwith because she is awesome at remembering the steps. I guess her she chose her name-sake and Black and Blue Ball's Black Swan homage really well because that girl can DANCE. So we lead the parade of zombies through Old Town to Thriller and then played among the restless undead for the remaining portion of the evening.

I started off the wearing the FoCo teal and black. Torn, dirty, and dripping with blood, I donned my gear and skates in the square. We were a legion of zombies on a mission. Suzy and Battle E. were our Generals and I like to believe we "turned" a few people to our side. After the parade, I changed out of my roller skates in to the candy pink dress that I have worn for 3 years now and, like me, its just getting better with age. With this dress I wear knee high grey boots that get a fresh dousing in fake blood before I stomp all over town in them. I believe that this ritual means my things look more "authentic" and it makes two, count 'em TWO, zombie costumes alone this year. What an epic win. I love dressing up. For any reason.

Undead Roller Girls. Thanks Resident Rockstar Photography!!

Mr. Maguire and I were a testament to zombie love that night; he was the zombie hunter, I was the zombie. Predator and prey. We looked pretty sick. The part that made the evening so special for me was the bridging of my separate lives. The Lory/Molly line was totally blurred. I hung out with derby girls AND non-derby people all night. And who knew that the 2 groups would be so rad together, it was like peanut butter and jelly. Like Kid and Play. Like Bettie Page and bangs. 

Boyfriend + Friends + Derby = Happiness.

Derby Love,
Mollytov Maguire

October 18, 2012

Bouting is the BEST

Bouting is seriously the most fun you can have on 8 wheels. There is nothing that I can say that will capture what its like out there. Playing with a team that supports you, friends and family in the crowd cheering your name, seeing the jammer stuck in the wall YOU helped make. All are things that I can't find words to describe  My first bout was totally worth a whole year of my life.

Admittedly, I don't remember much because it was pretty crazy out there. I remember hearing shouts of "Molltyov" and "GOOOOOO 42!" because Mr. Maguire was nice and loud. I have flashes of the moments after the jammers were released watching them come at me and my line. I was shoved, pulled, hit, bruised, battered, knocked around, and otherwise jostled around for 60 minutes of play and it was everything I ever hoped it could be.

There is one moment that will stick out in my mind probably forever. I recall it very clearly and in slow motion. I was headed into corner 2 with my pack. I was a little behind the rest and I saw L.A.'s Finest out of the corner of my eye. I sat a little lower ready for the hit I KNEW was coming my way. L.A. did not disappoint. She laid me OUT. I went down. First to my knee, the to my hip, then I rolled into some fans. I looked up at them from the floor, laying in a "dead bug" position and they said "Well, hello" with a smile on their face. I loved being that person for them. I darn near took out some spectators and they were excited to see me! I got up from the floor as quickly as I could and met up with the pack in turn 3. I have no idea if points were scored, who the jammers were, or really anything but this beautiful moment I had with L.A.'s Finest and 3 FoCo Fans.

I am in love with roller derby. I went to the after party and couldn't stop grinning like a fool. I literally fell head over heels for it in that moment. In that hit. The bruise I have from it will fade but not my admiration for this brutal, physical, smart game. I am glad to have the sort of people who made their own shirts with my name in glitter paint and wear them out in public for me. Additionally, I won "Best Dress" and I wore my sash all night at the after party. I considered wearing it to work but that might have been overkill.

And the icing on the cake? My team won. It was a close game all the way through, but the ladies in black pulled out a win.

Derby Love,
Mollytov Maguire

October 11, 2012

Bout:30 - Getting my Game Face On

My significant other should probably get a medal for all the things I make him do for derby. Not only does it take up roughly 2-4 nights a week in addition to my non-derby social commitments, but I watch it on the internet, talk about it constantly, and spend bunches of money on it. He has changed my wheels and bushings, helped me clean my bearings, adjusted toe stops, and been on the receiving end of more derby fashion shows than anyone should be subjected to. I am remembering flashes of "Do these booty shorts look better with the skull fishnets and the moustache socks or the striped socks? Or maybe the skull socks... that might be too much skull and crossbones though... hmmm." Seriously. That isn't an inner monologue. That is a quote. I think the best thing he's done for me is completely re-schedule our vacation plans to fit around the Black and Blue Ball. When I came home in a panic because I might not have been able to play and talked AT him for a solid 30 minutes, he just said "Well, I guess I will see what I need to do to get the dates changed." and then did it. Just so I could skate.

This is the "lucky" fella.
Mr. Maguire - Zombie Hunter for Hire

Needless to say, he's pretty excited for my OFFICIAL debut in this Saturday's bout, the Black and Blue Ball. I can't believe its finally here. After a year of practices, bruises, sore muscles, late nights, anxiety, friendship, camaraderie, and most of all personal growth, I am finally going to put on the pads of a seasoned warrior. I will strap 8 wheels to my feet and try to keep my effing point as the jammer flies at me. No longer am I a derby poser. When I say "I play roller derby" I get to really mean it. No longer is it "I'm going to play roller derby" or "I am not on a team yet" its "I'M DOIN' THIS THANG!" and then really doing it. Dream come true? Abso-freaking-lutely. Don't ask me on Saturday though. At least not before the deed is done.

My captain, KermudJen, and a few team-mates took me shopping for my very first "boutfit" (don't worry, Mr. Maguire has had multiple fashion shows for this auspicious event alone). I booty-blocked in the ARC Thriftstore to see if the dress I tried on could make the cut. This trip taught me that I look AWESOME in a 1980's shoulder-padded hammer pant-suit onesie. Oh, and it was formal wear. Yup. That happened last weekend and Double Destruction has the cell phone picture to prove it. This shopping extravaganza was a much needed follow up to a practice that left me asking "What the heck was I thinking?! Pfft. I QUIT roller derby!"

Yup, I am a warrior. Like Xena
on skates.
Obviously, I am not quitting, cuz this derby business is RAD! It was only a moment of temporary insanity. This week's mantra is "Derby is hard. I can do this. I WILL do this. I am a warrior." It's hard to imagine a cooler pack of humans to be in a foxhole with than the ones I've got. This is a team sport and I definitely have felt the love this week on and off the track. I want to give a huge thank you to my boyfriend, friends, family, fans, and team-mates who have pushed me this far. I wouldn't be here without all of you. My game face just wouldn't be as fierce without the help of my people. Community baby, that's what its all about.

Derby Love,
Mollytov Maguire

October 4, 2012

Moving My Show off the Track

A few weeks ago I was able to test my derby skills off the track by going to a metal show with my significant other. For those of you who have never been to one of these shows, a rule of thumb might be: the mosh pit is violent. This is a place that I will avoid at all costs. If its closer to the bathroom than I would like, I hold it. If it lurches toward the bar, I guess I wasn't that thirsty... Anyway, the metal fans were not unlike roller derby fans and could be considered a little "off" by some conventional standards; they dress differently, have their own cliques but really they're like us, passionate about what they love. They just love it SO HARD you would not believe it!

The first whistle blows.

So there we were, three bands deep, at Summit Music Hall in Denver. The head-liner comes out on stage and they're the boyfriend's FAVORITE BAND of all time so he is really stoked. I am feeling a little leery of this crowd though. Fights have been breaking out all night and they're coming with greater frequency as the evening progresses. We have been to metal shows together in the past and there wasn't an issue but he's also never wanted to brave the pit either. You know, we're both getting old (and lame) and there isn't a "code of conduct" so there is a significantly more real possibility of getting hurt. They don't wear pads and helmets and there are no refs to tell them what was an illegal move. That is what makes me nervous.

The  second whistle releases the Jammer.

We've posted up right in front of a column somewhere behind the pit and were enjoying the show when all of the sudden, the edges of the pit lurch toward us. I back against the column and the borders swell and re-absorb the culprits as the show rages on. About a minute later, it happens again. Then again, as though the human tide was rolling in.

The pack is on the chase.

All the while, security comes rushing past us to plant themselves in crowd, hopefully to calm the restless fans, but to no avail. This is getting more and more disorderly and with the fear rising so does the excitement. Suddenly, a bloody faced man came tearing out of the pit, with security guards hanging on both arms like he's the hulk or something. The blood was literally dripping off his face like sweat. This metal version of the Hulk spun to try and shake loose the security "ants" and the lurched for the door as the slowly started to take him down.

Major penalty!

What was Mollytov Maguire doing that she had such a great view of all of these shenanigans? I was alternating between hiding behind the boyfriend, hiding behind the pole, and wanting to see more. And CrazyMetalFanHulk was a mere 2 feet from me at one point! I know, I am a total accident chaser when things like this happen. But, in my defense, I was using my derby skills to juke, get low, protect myself, and weave through the pack (pretending I was a Jammer). Who knew those were real life skills one would need to use? And who knew that I should have brought my gear to the show? I would have felt a lot better with a mouth-guard and helmet on in that place!

Final Score - Mollytov 1, CrazyMetalFanHulk 0
Rematch Scheduled: Hopefully Never

Moral of this week's blog post? Always be prepared... TO PLAY SOME DERBY! Yeah!

Derby Love,
Mollytov Maguire

PS - Suga Smaxxx told me last week that I haven't mentioned her enormous influence on me as a skater yet. Too true lady, and to this accusation I choose to reply with haiku. Without further adieu, Suga, this one's for you!

Mollytov + Suga 4Eva!

Skating with Suga,
A spectacle to behold.
Both sweet and spicy!

October 1, 2012

You are cordially invited to attend
FoCo Girls Gone Derby’s 7th annual Black & Blue Ball
7:30 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 13
Rollerland, 324 S. Link Lane, Fort Collins

Bust out your most outrageous prom attire, or that tacky bridesmaid’s dress you otherwise never would wear again, and join FoCo Girls Gone Derby’s home teams Saturday, Oct. 13, for the league’s 7th annual Black & Blue Ball. Doors open at 7, bout begins at 7:30, at Rollerland. This match-up of FoCo skaters in blue formalwear vs. those in black evening gowns has become FoCo Girls Gone Derby’s signature event. Get in on the fun by dressing up for a chance to win prizes at the bout.

Tickets are $10 presale and $15 at the door. Students and members of the military receive a reduced rate of $10 with a valid ID. Children 12 and under are admitted free. Tickets can be purchased through the Rollerland Skate Center ticket booth, from any FoCo derby skater or online at www.brownpapertickets.com/event/214879.