October 4, 2012

Moving My Show off the Track

A few weeks ago I was able to test my derby skills off the track by going to a metal show with my significant other. For those of you who have never been to one of these shows, a rule of thumb might be: the mosh pit is violent. This is a place that I will avoid at all costs. If its closer to the bathroom than I would like, I hold it. If it lurches toward the bar, I guess I wasn't that thirsty... Anyway, the metal fans were not unlike roller derby fans and could be considered a little "off" by some conventional standards; they dress differently, have their own cliques but really they're like us, passionate about what they love. They just love it SO HARD you would not believe it!

The first whistle blows.

So there we were, three bands deep, at Summit Music Hall in Denver. The head-liner comes out on stage and they're the boyfriend's FAVORITE BAND of all time so he is really stoked. I am feeling a little leery of this crowd though. Fights have been breaking out all night and they're coming with greater frequency as the evening progresses. We have been to metal shows together in the past and there wasn't an issue but he's also never wanted to brave the pit either. You know, we're both getting old (and lame) and there isn't a "code of conduct" so there is a significantly more real possibility of getting hurt. They don't wear pads and helmets and there are no refs to tell them what was an illegal move. That is what makes me nervous.

The  second whistle releases the Jammer.

We've posted up right in front of a column somewhere behind the pit and were enjoying the show when all of the sudden, the edges of the pit lurch toward us. I back against the column and the borders swell and re-absorb the culprits as the show rages on. About a minute later, it happens again. Then again, as though the human tide was rolling in.

The pack is on the chase.

All the while, security comes rushing past us to plant themselves in crowd, hopefully to calm the restless fans, but to no avail. This is getting more and more disorderly and with the fear rising so does the excitement. Suddenly, a bloody faced man came tearing out of the pit, with security guards hanging on both arms like he's the hulk or something. The blood was literally dripping off his face like sweat. This metal version of the Hulk spun to try and shake loose the security "ants" and the lurched for the door as the slowly started to take him down.

Major penalty!

What was Mollytov Maguire doing that she had such a great view of all of these shenanigans? I was alternating between hiding behind the boyfriend, hiding behind the pole, and wanting to see more. And CrazyMetalFanHulk was a mere 2 feet from me at one point! I know, I am a total accident chaser when things like this happen. But, in my defense, I was using my derby skills to juke, get low, protect myself, and weave through the pack (pretending I was a Jammer). Who knew those were real life skills one would need to use? And who knew that I should have brought my gear to the show? I would have felt a lot better with a mouth-guard and helmet on in that place!

Final Score - Mollytov 1, CrazyMetalFanHulk 0
Rematch Scheduled: Hopefully Never

Moral of this week's blog post? Always be prepared... TO PLAY SOME DERBY! Yeah!

Derby Love,
Mollytov Maguire

PS - Suga Smaxxx told me last week that I haven't mentioned her enormous influence on me as a skater yet. Too true lady, and to this accusation I choose to reply with haiku. Without further adieu, Suga, this one's for you!

Mollytov + Suga 4Eva!

Skating with Suga,
A spectacle to behold.
Both sweet and spicy!

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