July 18, 2013

Maid of (dis)Honor

Finding the right balance between life and derby is hard. There are so many derby things I would like to do but can't. Some of it is about money but a lot more of it is about the time. I just can't do all derby all the time because that would probably run off the last of my remaining non-derby friends not to mention my family. My best friend lives out of town and  before I started this little adventure I went up to visit her all the time. Since I have become a member of the league, my visits have been fewer and the time I have to give her is shorter, when I get up there, I am better behaved with my food and drink intake. I am sure this is annoying. I am not saying I am a saint, but I am saying it's different. She has known me for years and when we were at the grocery store and said "I think we're going to need something green, don't you?" I am SURE she was a little shocked.

My weekends away were usually smothered in bacon horseradish chip dip, hollandaise, and beer. Now they're more like red wine, hikes, and a fresh summer salad. This is not a bad thing, it's just another way that derby has changed my life. I am healthier on and off the track. The way I look at it, I am getting older every day and my derby career is one day closer to ending so I have to take advantage while I can. There are clinics and committees and practices (oh my!) that I can go to and even though I think all of those things make me a better league-mate and player on the team, I am not sure they all help my relationships.

I am rapidly approaching my first boutiversary and I am thinking back on all the things that have changed in that time. Those road trips I delayed because I had practice on Thursday so I couldn't leave until Friday morning. Or changing dinner nights with my family because Monday practice is too hard when you've eaten sooooo much amazing pot roast with potatoes. My family and friends have heard "I can't, I have derby" so much I am sure they want to scream. Often times, I feel like I agree to too many things and then fail at all of them because nothing gets the attention it deserves. It started with little things, using my lunch and break time at work to do committee work, then not having wine with dinner because I had to go to practice. What I am not sure they  know about are all the times that I give up derby things to be with them.

I am missing RollerCon because I am going to be the maid of honor in my afforementioned bestie's wedding. She is non-derby folk, but I love her anyway, and I am beyond stoked that I get to stand next to her as she takes this step. When she told me the date I ran to my calender so that I could make sure that my goldfish memory would retain it and saw that it overlapped RollerCon, my little heart cried "NOOOOoooOOo!" and immediately started thinking about ways I could do both. Alas, it was not meant to be. I could squeak out one day, but I am positive it would make me a really bad friend and an even worse MOH. So the thought was dashed from my mind. Mostly. There are still pangs of jealousy when people post "I got my pass today!" and it did take me until THIS WEEK to delete RollerCon from my calendar, but instead I will be happily supporting one of the single most important people in my life. She is only doing this once, and RollerCon is happening again next year. Skills, drills, scrimmages, and derby royalty be damned! I am goin' to Wyomin' for her wedding and there is NOTHING that could top it!

I am sure the timing will always be inconvenient for me to leave town on derby vacation, but someday it will work out. Someday.  I wanna make her weekend great; there will be memorable, beautiful, days full of love, nights around a bonfire, and laughter bouncing off the hills from all the friends and family that have come to celebrate. That is where I will find my derby/life balance. Remembering the people who knew and loved me before I loved derby is integral for maintaining any kind of sanity. Thinking about the impact of the modified rule set for the 2014 World Cup is exciting for a while, but it won't nourish my soul the way making a MILLION twine flowers laughing until my face hurts and my body shakes from gasping for air while I try not to pee myself waddling to the bathroom. We speak in our own language of grunts, inside jokes, and furtive glances. When she tells me "No way Jose!" it sends me into a fit of convulsions that I am sure my coworkers have confused for a seizure. No, I don't need medications for it, I just need muh beloved Snikki-pops.

If only I could get her to join derby... Is 350 miles (one way) too much to make it to practice twice a week? I am sure that saucy minx could wrangle something! Maybe?

Derby Love,
Mollytov Maguire


  1. Excellent post, Mollytov. Skampcity totally approves.

    1. Dearest Skamp -- Thank you for that. It means the WORLD to me to have fans like you! Smooches! And a shootie for good measure.

  2. Next year, Molly! Count me in, too!

    1. Aw yeah! You know they go on sale on Black Friday? It's the cheapest they will ever be. Imma git me one, yeeeehaw!