In my head, I know their reasons and I understand them; whether it is because of retirement, moving to a more competitive league, or just plain change of environment. So why is it so hard for my heart to accept that this isn't about me? That their choices are not a reflection of mine? That though I would love to stay with those people forever, they don't want to stay with me? I hate seeing people leave. It's hard to watch someone you've trained with, shared sweat with, and been mentored by decide that the choice they helped you make is no longer their choice.
I love these skaters. They helped shape my opinions, they "raised me" and contributed to the culture of my league. Without them, FoCo Girls Gone Derby would look and feel different. I like to think that it is different for the better because of them. I KNOW that I am better because of them. I can remember talking to one of my dear derby sisters, then still a comrade in arms, who told me that if she didn't give me her whole ass (literally and figuratively) that she would be cheating me out of getting better and that I should be proud that no one was "taking it easy" on me. This was a lesson that didn't ring true in my selfish, sad little heart at the time but now, as I begin to talk the talk and walk the walk of a veteran, these words of wisdom find resonance within me.
|Seriously though. |
Don't you forget about me.
At one time in my life before derby, I was talking to a very dear friend about why people seem to come and go. She gave me some sage advise that I will share with all of you here. She told me that you can't begrudge the person who isn't there with the same regularity they were before and that you do need to celebrate and be glad for the time that you had with them. Meaning, some friends are there for a specific time in your life but instead of being sad and missing them you should be glad that they were there at all. So cheers to the past, present, and future of FoCo Girls Gone Derby!