She's Got Your Back on the Track

March is women's history month and it's very fitting for FoCo because we are making history with our season opener on the 16th. We're playing at a new venue with new home teams and many new players. In honor of this historic event, I have asked one of the home team captains to help with fictionally drafting some really rad women to play with us. I will be making my selections for the Cinderhellas and MomeRath will be doing the same for the Psycho Sirens. Here is how it all played out:

First Round:

Cinderhellas: Betty Freidan -- Jammer
            Author of "The Feminine Mystique" and founder of N.O.W. (National Organization for Women) in 1966. She was a wife, a mother, and advocate for women's rights. Though her politics were often polarizing and her ideas controversial, she tirelessly worked for equality in the workplace. Her sometimes demanding style would make her an excellent jammer as she could power through the pack in a fury of twists and jukes bound to confuse the best of blockers. This is why she would be my first round pick for the Cinderhellas. 
Derby name: Femme-i-nine Technique

Psycho Sirens: Margaret Sanger -- Blocker (helper)

            Opening the first birth control clinic in 1916 with her sister and a friend, Margaret Sanger was an early activist for helping women have access to safe birth control and the knowledge about contraception; which naturally, she was sent to the penalty box for by “the man.”  In the 1930s she helped operate the only birth control organization in the United States which would eventually become Planned Parenthood.  With her life-long dedication to the safety and education of women, Sanger would be able to aid the jammer’s pass through the pack of opponents and oppressors.  I would be proud to call her a Siren.   

Derby name: The Anti-Baby Maker.

Second Round:

Cinderhellas: Adele -- Blocker (helper) 
            Girl got some anger issues to work through and I like her style. If roller derby makes great therapy, then I have just the prescription for Adele. She is no shrinking violet. She is an amazing artist but what I love about her is that she is a role model to women everywhere. She has the one of the top girl rock anthems in the world. Ever. Yeah girl, get at it. You will set fire to the rain. In roller derby, as in life, we need to be comfortable with our bodies and know that what others think of as a limitation can really be an asset. Especially in derby, women of all shapes and sizes are encouraged. Nothing is going to keep a skater from skating. I think she would be a great helper; breaking up lines and setting the crowd on fire every time she takes the track. 
Derby name: Rebel Has It

Psycho Sirens: Alice Walker -- Blocker (pivot)

            Author, poet, feminist, and activist, Alice Walker has been leading the way for Americans since marching in the 1963 Civil Rights Movement, even volunteering to register black voters in Georgia and Mississippi.  Walker is the blocker who may get sent to the penalty box for a bad call, but refuses to let it make her bitter.  With resounding energy she’ll booty block and hit, forcing her way to the front of the pack with literary grace—and when need be—take that star pass and score some major points.  Walker will gladly go to the penalty box to stand up for what’s right.

Derby name: The Color Black, Blue & Purple.

Third Round:

Cinderhellas: Sandra Fluke -- Blocker (pivot)
            Her claim to fame is not backing down from Rush Limbaugh's inflammatory statements regarding her sex life. Shame on him for that, but she rose to the occasion with grace and determination. What's more important than her reaction to those nasty comments is her work to help victims of domestic violence, human trafficking, and LGBTQ rights. She is well educated, well spoken, and strong in her convictions. She didn't disengage from the fight she knew was right, she hit Rush out of bounds and performed a text-book drag and drop by calling out those shenanigans for what they were; a needless distraction from the real issue at hand, the rights of women and the misogynistic culture which allows  discussion of a woman's private life as fodder for the masses. She can be a blocker on my line any day. 
Derby name: Crusher McFluster

Psycho Sirens: Ke$ha -- Jammer

            Alright, I know; everyone’s thinking: “Seriously?  Ke$ha?”  The singer who talks about being openly promiscuous, drinking too much, and calling people dirty names?  Ke$ha has all of the glitz and glam that people associate with derby, but more over she turns the pop music tables on how men in rock bands and rappers can get away with objectifying women and not vice versa.  Ke$ha might shock the average derby-virgin with her jukes and jives but the point would be made and scored.  By the time she rounds the track again, the dawning realization of the situation has everyone going “I get it now.”  She won’t hide who she is, empowered and an individual, and who can hit just like any man.

Derby name: Rose Sebert.

Welcome to your new home teams ladies of FoCo. We can't wait to see you on the track for our historic season opener March 16th. We'll be at the Qdoba Events Center, having the MOST fun you can have on eight wheels. Boom.

Derby Love,
Mollytov Maguire and MomeRath