Day in the Derby Life

Practice Day, Morning: Wake up at some obscenely early hour, slowly stretch, carefully taking inventory of old aches, new injuries and making sure normal movement is possible. Make coffee, grab a steaming mug and take the dog out. Smoke a cigarette while the dog does her thing. Stumble back inside and feed the dog and the cat as the four year old shuffles out of his room rubbing his eyes and politely demanding chocolate milk and Cheerios. Feed the child. Shower quickly. Scramble to find clothing that is clean, work appropriate and not in desperate need of ironing. Dress the child. Hastily apply mascara, powder and lip gloss if there is the luxury of an extra five minutes after brushing teeth; both mine and child's. Gather all necessary belongings for the child and myself and toss into backpack or purse. Kennel the dog, and swallow a handful of ibuprofen before rushing out the door. Curse myself for not starting the car and de-icing the windshield earlier. Rush the boy to daycare and rush back to the leasing office for work.

Work Day: Apologize to the boss for being five minutes late and swear for the thousandth time it will never, ever happen again. Turn on computer and make coffee while the computer takes it's damn sweet time to load. Check messages, answer email, go over the day's agenda with boss. The rest of the day is chocked full of coworkers throwing childlike tantrums, current residents throwing fits about their neighbors and/or roommates ("he won't do the dishes so I need you to evict him"), former residents complaining about move out charges ("What'd ya mean I gotta clean the place or I get charged?") and touring prospective residents ("I like that utilities are included! Did I just step in something?"). Lunchtime: Walk dog and then short nap. Rest of the day, same as above but with a bit of a limp as the morning's ibuprofen has worn off and the knees begin to get cranky.

End of Work Day: Turn everything off, lock up office, rush to daycare to pick up the boy before daycare closes and begins charging by the minute. Seriously. Have the best conversation of the day in the car with my four year old son! Rush to child's dad's apartment and herd the boy and belongings inside. Hugs and kisses for child. Try to leave as child's dad tries to prolong conversation. Gotta go! Get home, walk dog, smoke cigarette. Text message from team mate; crap! Dues are due again! Daydream briefly about winning Powerball and getting a new tattoo. Fix a light dinner, feed myself, dog and cat. Rest on the couch for an hour, but not really because the child's father calls at least twice. One hour and fifteen minutes to practice! Begin the hunt through the apartment for practice clothes that may have been washed less than two practices ago. Check derby bag and make sure all equipment is there (good god, I should wash my pads!). Another handful of ibuprofen. Walk dog, then kennel her and off to practice!

At the Rink: 20 minutes before practice begins. Loiter outside for a bit smoking and chatting with league mates about all things derby and get caught up on every one's non-derby lives. There will be no outside world aggravation here; bad news regarding any league mate is met with sisterhood and support and the knowledge that in a few minutes we will be able to skate off our stress. Excited chatter continues as we go inside. Everyone hurries to get knees braced, ankles taped, laces replaced, trucks loosened, toe-stops adjusted and gear on. One by one we enter the track for more chit-chat and a few warm up laps and last minute equipment adjustments. 9 pm SHARP! practice begins. Two hours of non-stop skating! Hurray! 11:05 pm, practice ends, we are released! Sweaty, breathless and pumped full of endorphins, we peel off soaking wet equipment, yank our blistered and calloused feet out of our skates, chase down coaches, trainers and committee heads with various questions, explanations, comments and checks for dues. A few shouts of "Luscious Nectar!" "Surfside!" or sometimes "Elliot's!" fly over the dull roar letting everyone know where the after practice beers shall be consumed that night.

After Practice: Back out in the parking lot, several of us light up cigarettes, compare bruises and/or injuries and say about twenty times, "Good practice!" One by one we head for our vehicles and either head home to sleeping families or meet up with the party crowd in Old Town. I somehow fall in between these two categories; the child is with his dad for the night, but usually I can't afford where the other women have chosen to imbibe. So, off I go to meet up with my gentleman friend who never seems to mind how sweaty I am. And he thoroughly appreciates my practice shorts. Yay me! After a few beers, a couple of shots (I am the Queen you know) some random texts from a few derby women, several rockin' tunes on the jukebox, the endorphins begin to wear off, the aches begin to creep back and the edges of my euphoria are touched with fingers of sleepiness. Realizing how early I will have to wake up, walk the dog and get ready for work, I pay my tab and say my goodbyes. Time to leave with my gentleman friend and snuggle up in his bed. As my eyes close, the smile on my lips stays put; I am sore, exhausted and nursing several new bruises and/or rink rash, but the feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment always overrides any physical discomfort. Before the REM begins, I have already outlined in my head the job assignments and schedule of events for the next home bout. I love being a FoCo Girl Gone Derby!

2010 Training Has Begun!

As I look on the track and see all of the new recruits so carefully skating through their drills, I have a small smile on my lips. It was only one year ago that I was in their position. I am filled with excitement for them and anticipation for myself thinking about the upcoming season and what it will mean for all of the newbies. 2009 was an amazing year for me; filled with life changing events, physical injury, new friendships and growth as a woman all piled onto a huge emotional rollercoaster. However, no matter what was happening in my off the track life, derby and FoCo were always there for me. Being a part of this league has brought so much more than physical fitness. I have discovered parts of myself that have been too long dormant. I have developed not only friendships, but discovered sisterhood. I can only hope that I can be a part of something similar for the new league members.

For myself, I look forward to all 2010 has to bring: my son learning to read, a newfound commitment to work, a new romance, and of course developing even further as a skater, league member, Deathrow Doll and possible mentor to my new derby sister.

Sentimental schlock aside, good luck to all of the new skaters, refs and support staff, veteran league members and coaches! Here's to 2010, may it be even more than we could all hope for!

Love and Skate!
~Mary

Open Recruitment

Have you ever pictured yourself bouting with FOCO GIRLS GONE DERBY?

Northern Colorado's premiere derby league FoCo Girls Gone Derby will be having OPEN RECRUITMENT Monday, December 7th @ 8:00pm. Meeting will take place at Rollerland Skate Center - 324 S. Link Lane, in FOCO.

Even if you think you have two left feet, as long as you have a positive attitude and motivation, we will train you to join the ranks of FoCo's Derby Girls.

Recruitment is open to women 21 years of age or older.

Remember to visit www.focogirlsgonederby.com and sign up for our monthly newsletter to keep you updated on all the derby action.

December 5th Season Closer

YOU ARE INVITED TO BEAR WITNESS TO
MATRIMONY ON WHEELS AND
A KNOCKDOWN DRAG-OUT ROLLER DERBY BOUT
Saturday, Dec. 5 at Rollerland Skate Center, 324 S. Link Lane, Fort Collins
Doors open at 6 p.m., bout begins at 7

Fort Collins’ home teams, Chanel Cartel & Deathrow Dolls, will meet on the track one last time in 2009. It has been a tumultuous season for Northern Colorado’s original roller derby league, but FoCo Girls Gone Derby never fails to put on exciting and entertaining bouts. Each bout this year has been highly competitive, and on Dec. 5, underdogs Chanel Cartel hope to close out the season with a win against powerhouse team Death Row Dolls.



This year’s season closer is also a very special night for Chanel Cartel skater Kaiti “Rox Yorr Soxov” Hines, who will wed fiancé Matt Orr during halftime. FoCo coach Reverend Jimmie James will perform a brief, but completely legitimate, ceremony. The bride won’t be wearing white, though; she’ll be sporting her team colors: black and gold, and – of course – her skates! You’ve seen her cut through the pack as a jammer and knock girls down as a blocker, but on Dec. 5, you will get the rare opportunity to see Roxy as a blushing bride.

Instead of a wedding gift, bring a toy to donate to the Toys for Kids drive and get $2 off admission to the bout. FoCo derby girls are partnering with the City of Fort Collins Recreation Department in their benefit to collect toys for disadvantaged youths in Fort Collins. Toys should be new, in the package, but unwrapped and appropriate for kids ages 3-12.

As with all of our bouts, beer will be on sale for those 21 and older. An afterparty location will be announced at the bout.

Presale tickets are $10, and tickets will be $15 at the door. Students receive a reduced rate of $7 with a current student ID. Ages 10 and under are admitted free. Tickets can be purchased through the Rollerland Skate Center ticket booth, from any FoCo derby girl or online at www.brownpapertickets.com or www.focogirlsgonederby.com. Purchases also can be processed via phone at 1-800-838-3006.

For more information, visit www.focogirlsgonederby.com

Black & Blue Ball - Oct 10th

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Black & Blue Ball - Oct 10th

You Are Cordially Invited to Attend

FoCo Girls Gone Derby’s Black and Blue Ball

Roller Derby Bout on Saturday, October 10

at Rollerland Skate Center, 324 S. Link Lane, Fort Collins

Doors open at 6 p.m., bout begins at 7


Fort Collins’ two home teams, the Death Row Dolls and Chanel Cartel, will face off for the first time since June on Saturday, Oct. 10, at our annual formal. Skaters will be gussied up in evening gowns, and the ruffles and sequins are going to fly. Just because FoCo’s skaters clean up pretty, doesn’t mean they will play nice.

The league has spent the past several months training new recruits who will be our featured debutantes at the ball. These girls are ready to dance. However, there’s no choreographing in derby. All the hip checks, whips, hits and pushes are real.

“Whip It!”, starring Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page as rollergirls, is set to open in theaters Oct. 2. The movie, based on a book written by a real derby girl, is an example of the resurgence of the sport. Experience the real thing firsthand with local players who may be your friends, neighbors or co-workers.

This will be the prom you wish you’d attended. Fans are encouraged to wear formal attire and participate in FoCo Girls’ fundraiser by having their photos taken with a derby girl. Halftime entertainment will be provided by a belly dancing troupe, and beer will be for sale for those 21 and older. An afterparty location will be announced at the bout.

Entry is $10 for presale tickets and $15 for tickets purchased at the door. Students receive a reduced rate of $7 with a current student ID. Ages 10 and under are admitted free. Tickets can be purchased through the Rollerland Skate Center ticket booth, The Bean Cycle coffee shop, any FoCo derby girl or online at http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/78268. Purchases also can be processed via phone at 1-800-838-3006.

On Spillin'

My thoughts go out to one of the newer ladies on the team this past weekend, who suffered a skate-to-the-back at practice and subsequently needed some medical treatment. I know that injuries within the sport happen all of the time, but when it hits home, it sort of put things into perspective. Roller derby is a real sport; we all work just as hard as any other team of athletes when we're out skating on the rink. We risk injuries every night, and we keep coming back for more because we love it!